Last Wednesday, we ate at the OK Coyote, as we often do on Wednesdays. We're pretty much regulars there, and know some some of the other regulars. Among them is a family with a little girl named Rachel. B is rather enamored of Rachel (even though he's more than a year older than her), and asked if she could come over to our house and play. I told him "Maybe someday. Did you know Rachel's from China? Do you know anyone else from China?" He immediately piped up "My baby sister!" I told him I thought that Rachel would make a great friend for him AND his baby sister when she finally gets home. He processed that for a minute, then asked, "Mommy, is Rose [neighbor girl] from China?" Yes. "Oh. Am I from China too?" Wuh-wo.
This conversation has been looming in the background for months now. I knew it was coming. But I was so not ready! How do you explain the birds and bees to a three year-old?! I told him "No, I grew you in my belly." Silence, than an "Oh." More silence. "How did I get out?" Muffled groan from me. "I had to have an operation. They cut a hole in my belly and took you out. But some babies come out through their mommy's vagina." "Oh." Moment of silence as he ponders this fact. "How do babies fit through their mommy's vagina?" "I don't know." An honest answer, really. "Well, how did I get inside your belly?" (my inside voice: Nooooo...make it stop!!!) "Well, your daddy put a seed there, and you grew into a baby like a plant grows from a seed." (my inside voice: PLLLLEEEEEEASE, don't ask how Daddy put you there...)
By some sort of divine intervention, our conversation was timed such that it reached this point just as we pulled into the driveway. B caught a glimpse of his trike in the garage, and instantly the whole seed-baby-daddy-mommy's belly thing disappeared from his mind. I know it's coming back though. It's only a matter of time. The kid is like an elephant, never ever forgets anything. He's just waiting for a suitably awkward moment to ask the next question, like when we have company over for dinner or something. Oh, or when our new social worker comes over for our homestudy update. That sound like the kind of thing that would happen in this house.
In the meantime, if anyone's got a good way to explain conception to a three year-old, please, for the love of god, speak up and speak up fast.
5 comments:
LOL... you poor thing!
My mom was told the seed story, and for years she felt so bad for the poor seed who clearly had to fight its way through the sheets to get from her dad to her mom.
Is it wrong to tell him that it's complicated and you'll explain it when he gets a little older?
Wait, I thought OK Coyote was off your list. Didn't they change owners & get expensive or something?
Ha! You have such a good memory! Another elephant? Yes, it changed owners, and in fact is now called something else. Their food got bad for awhile, but the margaritas got AWESOME. That was enough to keep me going every now & then, and that's how I noticed that the food had improved (although it stayed more expensive). We're back to being Coyote regulars, and we still call it the Coyote. I don't even know what it's really called anymore!
And yes, I think it would be perfectly fine to say it's complicated & I'll explain it when he's older, but he won't accept that. He'll pester me until I come up with something. He's so intensely curious!
No clue. I'm flabbergasted. Talking about adoption is WAY easier.
Aside: I've been by your place twice in the past week! To and from the airport!
If you don't mind using a book, I found this one at Amazon when I went to look for that one we had as kids (Where Did I Come From - remember that? and What's Happening To Me). Might be worth looking at:
http://tinyurl.com/2std2n
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