Last Wednesday, we ate at the OK Coyote, as we often do on Wednesdays. We're pretty much regulars there, and know some some of the other regulars. Among them is a family with a little girl named Rachel. B is rather enamored of Rachel (even though he's more than a year older than her), and asked if she could come over to our house and play. I told him "Maybe someday. Did you know Rachel's from China? Do you know anyone else from China?" He immediately piped up "My baby sister!" I told him I thought that Rachel would make a great friend for him AND his baby sister when she finally gets home. He processed that for a minute, then asked, "Mommy, is Rose [neighbor girl] from China?" Yes. "Oh. Am I from China too?" Wuh-wo.
This conversation has been looming in the background for months now. I knew it was coming. But I was so not ready! How do you explain the birds and bees to a three year-old?! I told him "No, I grew you in my belly." Silence, than an "Oh." More silence. "How did I get out?" Muffled groan from me. "I had to have an operation. They cut a hole in my belly and took you out. But some babies come out through their mommy's vagina." "Oh." Moment of silence as he ponders this fact. "How do babies fit through their mommy's vagina?" "I don't know." An honest answer, really. "Well, how did I get inside your belly?" (my inside voice: Nooooo...make it stop!!!) "Well, your daddy put a seed there, and you grew into a baby like a plant grows from a seed." (my inside voice: PLLLLEEEEEEASE, don't ask how Daddy put you there...)
By some sort of divine intervention, our conversation was timed such that it reached this point just as we pulled into the driveway. B caught a glimpse of his trike in the garage, and instantly the whole seed-baby-daddy-mommy's belly thing disappeared from his mind. I know it's coming back though. It's only a matter of time. The kid is like an elephant, never ever forgets anything. He's just waiting for a suitably awkward moment to ask the next question, like when we have company over for dinner or something. Oh, or when our new social worker comes over for our homestudy update. That sound like the kind of thing that would happen in this house.
In the meantime, if anyone's got a good way to explain conception to a three year-old, please, for the love of god, speak up and speak up fast.
