Thank you secret pal!

Wow. She really outdid herself this time. The theme this month was Chinese culture. Apparently, my SP lives near a Chinatown and can get all kinds of fun stuff. She says she bought the traditional silk dresses for her daughter in China, but they made her slippery and hard to hold onto. These are soft cotton instead, and a little stretchy. I've always thought kids are more comfortable in stretchy clothes anyway! And moms too, for that matter. There's also a beautiful little silk vest, and three traditional silk Barbie dresses. They're all lovely, really.

B's mini secret pal sent something for him again this time. It's a coloring book about China. He won't color in it so far -- I think he's afraid of messing it up. He sat on the couch last night and looked at all the pictures, going "Wow! Whoa. Mommy, they have castles in China! I keep seeing a lot of water, Mommy. I think they have water in China!" Yes, I think they probably do B.

You know, I don't usually go in for many of the traditions associated with Chinese adoption. Red threads, ladybugs, sonograms shaped like China -- all that stuff really doesn't do much for me. But I have to say, I love doing the secret pal thing. I get to indulge my terrible shopping habit, and it's really fun to get a mystery package in the mail every month.

Thank you secret pal!

And just for fun, a picture of how we ended our evening last night. Mr. Crankypants lost his marbles and a massive hissy fit ensued.

The giant black menace

Per request, here are some pictures of the Giant Black Menace. Here he is attempting to look sweet and innocent:

And here's his hulking presence lurking around the dinner table, hoping something hits the floor:

Seriously though, Kenai is one sweet dog. He's lab and ???. We adopted him from the Humane Society back in April, when he was (as far as we know) about five months old. He was about 45-50 pounds back then, and they told us he'd probably hit 55 or 60 pounds fully grown. HA! He's around a year old now, and weighing in at 90 pounds. I'm pretty sure he's done growing, but he clearly has some filling out to do.

He's all lanky gawky puppy legs. His tail could wipe out a small village in one wag. God help you if he tries to go down the stairs at the same time as you. He's clumsy and tends to overshoot his destination when he gallops across the house. He's got a weird and annoying habit of walking just past you, then swinging his entire rear half up against your body. If you're only 33 pounds like B, this is the equivalent of a body slam.

He really only has three bad habits:

1. He's a counter surfer. He picked this up from my parents' dog. Those two idiots ate an entire mango-coconut souffle I'd left on the stovetop to cool. I walked into the kitchen to find them in the middle of a fight over the empty dish. A few nights ago, he ate nearly an entire loaf of pumpkin bread B and I had made. He pooped orange the next day.

2. His saucer-sized paws devastate my gardens when he goes tearing through them at full speed.

3. He's a licker. He's constantly licking us. We catch glimpses of him walking across the living room, casually licking the couch as he passes by. He'll lick ANYTHING.

In spite of all this, we adore him. He's 100% good-natured, not a drop of mean in him. He's been very easy to train and has excellent heeling skills already. I'm working on controlling him off-leash now. And he sleeps at the top of the stairs, in the hallway, right between our door and B's. That makes me feel very safe. Nobody in their right mind would come into our house with Kenai here. Even though if they did, all he'd do is knock them over and lick them to death.

I was so NOT prepared for this

Last Wednesday, we ate at the OK Coyote, as we often do on Wednesdays. We're pretty much regulars there, and know some some of the other regulars. Among them is a family with a little girl named Rachel. B is rather enamored of Rachel (even though he's more than a year older than her), and asked if she could come over to our house and play. I told him "Maybe someday. Did you know Rachel's from China? Do you know anyone else from China?" He immediately piped up "My baby sister!" I told him I thought that Rachel would make a great friend for him AND his baby sister when she finally gets home. He processed that for a minute, then asked, "Mommy, is Rose [neighbor girl] from China?" Yes. "Oh. Am I from China too?" Wuh-wo.

This conversation has been looming in the background for months now. I knew it was coming. But I was so not ready! How do you explain the birds and bees to a three year-old?! I told him "No, I grew you in my belly." Silence, than an "Oh." More silence. "How did I get out?" Muffled groan from me. "I had to have an operation. They cut a hole in my belly and took you out. But some babies come out through their mommy's vagina." "Oh." Moment of silence as he ponders this fact. "How do babies fit through their mommy's vagina?" "I don't know." An honest answer, really. "Well, how did I get inside your belly?" (my inside voice: Nooooo...make it stop!!!) "Well, your daddy put a seed there, and you grew into a baby like a plant grows from a seed." (my inside voice: PLLLLEEEEEEASE, don't ask how Daddy put you there...)

By some sort of divine intervention, our conversation was timed such that it reached this point just as we pulled into the driveway. B caught a glimpse of his trike in the garage, and instantly the whole seed-baby-daddy-mommy's belly thing disappeared from his mind. I know it's coming back though. It's only a matter of time. The kid is like an elephant, never ever forgets anything. He's just waiting for a suitably awkward moment to ask the next question, like when we have company over for dinner or something. Oh, or when our new social worker comes over for our homestudy update. That sound like the kind of thing that would happen in this house.

In the meantime, if anyone's got a good way to explain conception to a three year-old, please, for the love of god, speak up and speak up fast.

How can it already be the weekend again?

People always told us that time goes by faster when you have kids. Turns out it's totally true. It seems like Memorial Day was just a few weeks ago, and here we are at the last day of summer already.

Since it's the weekend again & I'll probably have some pictures to post, I figured I'd better hurry up and get last weekend's pictures posted first. We went up north to have a picnic in the park with Grandma & Bumpa (my parents) and Grammy & Poppy (my grandparents). B took his scooter & was overjoyed to find a totally deserted hockey rink to fool around in. Scootering (we all took turns, actually -- that thing is a blast!) was followed by throwing rocks in the river for awhile. Pics of B & Bumpa below:

M's working today, so I think B & I will take the giant black menace up to the mountains & turn him loose in a dog park. Tired dog = peaceful house.

I'm married to a psycho

M has night terrors. He's prone to hallucinations and semi-violence in the middle of the night. A week or so ago, I awoke in the dark of night to a pillow bouncing off my body onto the floor on my side of bed. I rolled over & opened my eyes to see M sitting straight up in bed, clearly in the final stages of pillow-flinging. I asked him what the HELL he was doing, and he said "I thought there was a snake. I saw a snake on you. I was trying to protect you!" Ummm, with a PILLOW?! Every time I bring it up now (which I do frequently, because I find this story hilarious), he insists loudly "But I was trying to protect you!" which only makes it funnier. Like I said, I'm married to a psycho, but I love him dearly, psychoses and all.

A poem by B

I saw a flock of birds
shaped like a kite
flapping its wings
across the sky

Whoop-de-freakin-do

You may remember that eight days ago I vowed I'd be at the same weight I was at age 30 when I turn 40 in November. Well, one week into my program, and I weigh exactly ONE POUND less. And that could easily be that I drank less water yesterday than I usually do, or maybe I got up to pee in the middle of the night or something dumb like that. So basically, no change. Could it be that I only ran once last week? I imagine that has something to do with it. I did work my @ss off in the yard yesterday, and we're talking heavy work too -- digging, hauling rocks, etc. I did it again for two hours this morning. That has to count for exercise, right? Maybe last week was a bad week to try to start. I had a big presentation to make in Santa Fe on Friday, and was so busy & stressed with the preparation that I didn't make time to exercise. Maybe I should just stop making excuses and drag my lazy self out to run.