So this girl I used to know growing up has tried to friend me on Facebook. Let's call her S. We lived in the same neighborhood & were friends in elementary school & junior high. Then in high school, S turned mean. It's a long story & I'll spare you the details, but she and another girl did something really really awful to me once that I have never forgotten. It hurt my feelings very badly, and was horribly embarrassing too. Only a handful of people knew about it, mainly the adults in the neighborhood that discovered it, told my parents, then took care of it. But still. The other girl offered a lame apology ("I'm sorry for whatever it is you think I've done") when her parents forced her, but S never apologized. I really never spoke to her again after that. She moved away after high school, and for 23 years, I never heard a peep from her. Until now.
So I have a dilemma. My initial reaction when I saw the email from Facebook was "No way!" Why would I want to allow someone who was so incredibly mean back into my life, even in that tiny, insignificant way? Part of me thinks that if she could do something so despicable back then, there's something fundamentally wrong with her, something that has to still be there in the adult S. But then another part of me says, "Oh, grow up J." After all, it happened 23 years ago, and she was a teenager then. Teenaged girls are notoriously mean. It's time to get over it. Forgive & forget. Then the really vindictive part of me, the little tiny bit of teenaged girl that remains, thinks it would be AWESOME to ignore this girl who was so sure she was so much better than me back then. A little rejection would do her good. Revenge is sweet.
Obviously, this is not a big deal. It's just Facebook; it's not like she wants to get together or is moving in next door. Even if I let her into my Facebook world, it's unlikely it'll ever go any further than a tiny version of her snotty face appearing on my Facebook homepage every now & then. But it's actually been a week or two now (I've ignored her request so far), and I can't get it out of my head. Am I being petty in holding a grudge against this girl? Does that say something deeper about who I am? Do I need to let go? Or am I justified in still feeling hurt over something that happened 23 years ago when we were kids? And if so, is it justifiable to continue to shut someone out of my life over an incident like that?
So what would you do? Reject, ignore, or friend? And am I being a baby?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
I say reject with a capital R. And, now you have me really curious about what horrible thing she did to you!
Raine
CCAI WCP Mom too
I know what you mean! I got a friend request from someone just like that. I did end up accepting and for the very reason you mentioned (it was almost 20 years ago). However, I've also recently gotten a friend request from a certain relative who is notorious about sending hateful political emails. I've been ignoring his request (haven't officially "ignored" him, yet) - mainly because I dont' want him spouting his hateful political stuff on MY facebook page. Did this "S" person you are referring to live on the corner of Frances and 23rd or is it the *other* S?
Ha! You're funny. It's the *other* S. And I've been ignoring that same annoying relative you're talking about too. He already invades my inbox; I don't need to see him on facebook too.
Ewwww.... That's kinda what I figured though. I'm glad I'm not the only one ignoring that certain relative.
Jen...R.E.J.E.C.T
dude...you don't need the extra drama.
It'll just rehash the old hurt.
let her go.
H
Email her and ask about it. She may want to apologize. I made friends with someone I hurt 20 years ago through FB. I've always felt terrible about it and now we're past it - I think. Now that I think about it, I owe him a better apology. Thanks for the reminder.
Post a Comment