Thursday, September 18, 2008

Has America lost its mind?!

I don't know where this originated. M emailed it to me yesterday, and I heard Randi Rhodes read it on air yesterday afternoon. Maybe she's the original source; I'm not sure. But seriously folks, when you look at it this way, it seems a little crazy, dontcha think? [material in brackets was added by yours truly]

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I'm a little confused. Let me see if I have this straight.....

* If you grow up in Hawaii, raised by your grandparents, you're 'exotic, different.'
* Grow up in Alaska eating mooseburgers, a quintessential American story.

* If your name is Barack, you're a radical, unpatriotic Muslim.
* Name your kids Willow, Trig and Track, and you're a maverick.

* Graduate from Harvard law School, and you are unstable.
* Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating, you're well grounded.

* If you spend 3 years as a brilliant community organizer, become the first black president of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years as a constitutional law professor, spend 8 years as a state senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, become chairman of the state senate's Health and Human Services Committee, spend 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of 13 million people while sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran's Affairs Committees, you don't have any real leadership experience.
* If your total resume is: local weather girl [I thought she was a sportscaster?], 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 7,000 people, and 20 months as the governor of a state with only 650,000 people, then you're qualified to become the country's second highest ranking executive.

* If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising 2 beautiful daughters [note that we plan for B to marry the younger daughter, so all the rest of you with young sons can forget about it -- she's promised], all within Protestant churches, you're not a real Christian.
* If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you're a Christian.

* If you advocate teaching responsible, age-appropriate sex education, including the proper use of birth control [and educating kindergarteners on how not to be the victim of a sexual predator], you are eroding the fiber of society.
* If, while governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence-only sex education in your state's school system, with no other option, while your unwed teen daughter ends up pregnant, you're very responsible.

* If your wife is a Harvard graduate laywer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city community, then gave that up to raise a family, your family's values don't represent America's.
* If you're husband is nicknamed 'First Dude', with at least one DWI conviction and no college education, who didn't register to vote until age 25 and once was a member of a group that advocated the secession of Alaska from the USA, your family is extremely admirable.

OK, much clearer now.

And just to reward you if you're still reading -- George W. Bush eats kittens!!

8 comments:

Mamacita said...

Oh god....I just threw up a little. I'm printing that out!

Can I move to Sweden now?

Mamacita said...

NO, seriously. You don't understand. I'm not laughing anymore. I'm so afraid that THEY (insert ominous music) are going to win that I can't even laugh at my love, John Stewart, anymore. Its just not funny. My confidence in the humanity in this country is at an all-time low. I just believe that THEY (cue music) are in charge and THEIR BLIND UNTHINKING FOLLOWERS are too numerous for us.

Seriously. Is it a bit dramatic to seek politcal assylum (that is freedom from OUR politicians and politics....its not like I'm being persecuted or anything...well, mentally a little bit) on other shores?

Melanie said...

Amen sister!

Verlyn said...

I SO TOTALLY AGREE!!!!!!
BTW, Mr. McC started dating his first wife while she was still married to her first husband. Then later he applied for his marriage license to Cindy before his divorce from Carol was granted. Am I blind or is something wrong with this picture??? And why does that evil-looking blonde woman stand right behind Mr. Mc every time he is speaking? And why do all the family-value righties (and I strongly believe in family values but I have a brain) believe all the lies in his commercials????
OK, I probably said too much.

pittmane said...

Lucky for Steuart and I, we heard recently that England no longer wants immigrants that are tech savvy - they want horse trainers. If McPain wins, maybe we'll move to England.

Snowflowers Mum said...

FUCK!

I stole this from you...it is pure truth! Like Christie, I am DUMBFOUNDED!!! Are people INSANE!!

Join me...if they win, we will be the huddled and weeping masses.

Snowflowers Mum said...

p.s. forget England, I'm setting up a commune in New Zealand for Democrats.

Maybe we'll invite the GOP over for some special 'cool aid'??

J said...

Dude, we're there! NZ is M's favorite place in the whole wide world. We talked about moving to Costa Rica when Bush won a second term. If McCain wins this time, we might have to get serious about it.