SugarMamaJ

And now we're back to this.

2011-04-03T13:58:00.000-06:00

24 hours ago, it was 85 degrees outside!

Have you missed me?

2011-03-31T17:30:00.002-06:00

A few things have happened since we last spoke. Just a few tiny little inconsequential things. No big deal, really. Let's take it in chronological order, shall we?

1. We sold one house and bought another on December 15.
2. We moved into the new house the next day.
3. Four days later, we left for Virginia and were gone for eleven days.
4. We remodeled yet another kitchen.
5. We have painted five rooms, one closet, one pantry, and one two-story stairwell. We're about a quarter of the way through with the painting.
6. We are slowly "tricking out" our new backyard, as the kids across the street like to tell us.
7. B took the gifted & talented test and scored scary-high on verbal skills. No surprise there. The perennial debate gains importance with this new evidence though: how to channel the genius toward good, not evil?

The key element in the "tricking out" of the backyard

Vote for QiuQiu!

2011-01-12T08:26:00.000-07:00

Maia's lovely QiuQiu is among 10 finalists to be on the July 2011 cover of Babiekins Magazine. Let's help make it happen!

Vote for QiuQiu

The great kitchen remodel

2010-11-23T14:11:00.002-07:00

I'm still not sure what possessed us to do this, but we decided to try to sell our house and move. Our neighborhood has always seemed like it was teetering right on the line -- it could get better & our property value could skyrocket, or it could turn into the 'hood and property value could plummet.

When the house across the street went into foreclosure and the house next door became vacant, we decided it had finally tipped in the wrong direction. We figured it couldn't hurt to try to sell. Probably our house would sit on the market for a month or so, then we'd take it off for the holidays and put it back on in the spring. We expected it would be six months or so before anything happened.

Oh, and before I forget: we chose to do this at the end of October. I work in a job related to elections, and M's annual sales meeting started the Saturday after the election, so it is absolutely THE busiest time of the year for both of us at work. Like I said, I really don't know what we were thinking.

Anyhoo, our house is nice. We like it. It has good "house karma." But besides being annoyed by the ill-kept houses around ours, we also knew that it was only a matter of time before this house was too small for our family. We have only one full bath, shared by all four of us, and I would really like to have a master bath before the kids get much older. Z's bedroom is a floor below ours and B's, which is far from ideal. And the storage situation is bleak: no basement, no attic, and a very basic, not-at-all-oversized garage. Kids come with a lot of stuff, and the stuff seems to multiply when you're not looking. It was starting to feel cramped. And there are a couple of major expenses that are looming -- the roof needs new shingles, and the gas boiler will need replacing before too long. These are not expenses we want to absorb for a house that we know we're not going to stay in for the long haul.

So we (perhaps foolishly) thought: why not try selling? It's a great time to buy a house, if we can just unload this one first. There are screaming deals to be had, and interest rates will probably never be this low again. First though, our realtors advised us, we needed to remodel the kitchen. Nearly everything else is updated, so the original 1967 kitchen stood out. M has tried for years to convince me that the formica countertops with swirls of gold were not ugly but "vintage," but I just never bought it. So we spent a mere $2,000, and now have a lovely kitchen. Which sadly I'll be moving away from in three weeks, into a newer, larger house in a better neighborhood, but a house that has its original 1975 kitchen. Sigh. At least we have experience remodeling a kitchen now.

Oh, and did I forget to mention that our house sold on the 11th day on the market? For 97% of our asking price, which we purposely set a little bit high? And that day happened to be the day after the election, when I want nothing but sleep, having pulled an all-nighter the night before? Our lives have been a tornado of paperwork and packing ever since. I'll show you the new house in another post. Meanwhile, here are pictures of the kitchen, in before & after pairs:

By the way, when I say "we" remodeled our kitchen, I really mean "M" remodeled our kitchen. He did 95% of the work, and truly did a fantastic job. I pretty much designed it, picked out materials, painted things, and followed him around with a dustpan and brush. That was pretty much the extent of my contribution. He installed the floors, the new cabinets, the countertops, and the gorgeous glass tile backsplash.

It's the best $2,000 we ever spent, I swear. It's bigger, brighter, and cleaner. There's a place for everything, so the clutter is gone. There's so much more counter space I don't know what to do with it all. Really, I just love it. I'd say that we should have done it years ago, but there's a good reason why we didn't: we were waiting for Ikea to open a store in Denver so that we could do our "dream kitchen." Well, Ikea opens next fall, and we now have another kitchen to remodel. I have a feeling the next one will cost significantly more than $2,000...

The Knight and the Tooth Fairy

2010-10-31T20:10:00.002-06:00

Happy Halloween

2010-10-31T16:39:00.000-06:00

Costume pictures to come later....Here are some pumpkin-carving pics to tide you over:

Corn maze & pumpkin patch

2010-10-24T16:11:00.000-06:00

So it turned out the corn maze didn't open until noon (we got there at 10:30ish), and all the pumpkins froze overnight & turned to mush, but it was still a good time. And an excellent day to take pictures.

B built this fort with the help of some other kids:

Children of the corn?

Too cool to smile for a photo:

Until his dad says "poop."

Where's B?

She's part monkey:

But always glamorous:

A couple parting shots that I just couldn't pass up -- a storm moving in over the Rockies, and a perfect rural farm scene.

Wherein the kids earn their keep

2010-10-23T18:13:00.002-06:00

Then B got naughty:

In that one on the far-right, he's got a rubber band aimed at me & my camera. Sassy pants. Speaking of sass, here is the Queen of Sass looking unbearably cute and innocent:

And yes, that's a for sale sign in the background. Our house went on the market yesterday. Nervous. It's a long story that maybe I'll tell on another day.

Look what B can do!

2010-09-13T14:25:00.000-06:00

Actually, he figured it out a few weeks ago, but I've been to busy to tend to the blog. All he wants to do now is ride his bike. He even goes with his dad on runs sometimes & rides alongside. He did a six-mile ride a couple weeks ago!

Princesses!

2010-08-27T16:55:00.000-06:00

This is Z and her friend E. E and her brother live in the neighborhood, and happen to be about the same age as our kids. And they go to the same charter school as our kids. And they are even in the same classes as our kids! How cool is that? We're trading babysitting with their parents, which really works out just perfectly for everyone. Obviously, tonight it's our turn to watch all four kids.

No school!

2010-08-18T19:09:00.000-06:00

The kids had a week off child care before school started. One day, we went to Boulder to play at one of our favorite parks and have a picnic lunch. M stole an hour away from work to join us. This park has a big pile of rocks that's riddled with caves:

It also features a paved path all the way around it, the perfect place to scooter your heart out:

At least one of my kids still likes having her picture taken, and will actually smile for a photo:

New Mexico

2010-08-17T19:10:00.054-06:00

We headed to my aunt & uncle's place in New Mexico on Friday the 13th for a mini-family vacation. They live in a beautiful little valley in the mountains, about halfway between Taos and Santa Fe on the High Road. We stayed in the guest yurt:

The grownups slept in the bed, while the kids and the dog slept in a nest on the floor. Speaking of dogs, Kenai went with us. He ran with a pack of four other dogs while he was there, and never ran away or got lost even once. Who knew he was smart enough to do that?!

We spent one day in Santa Fe, where we visited El Rancho de las Golindrinas, a Spanish colonial living history museum. If you're ever in the area, I highly recommend it. Our kids' attention span allowed us about an hour and a half there, but we could've spent the whole day. It's huge, and a fascinating place. We followed that up with lunch at the Cowgirl Hall of Fame and a little lounging time on the plaza in Santa Fe. It happened to be the 400th birthday of Santa Fe this year, and we stumbled upon a celebratory procession at the Catholic church near the plaza. Think dozens and dozens of priests, monks and bishops, some carrying crosses, a cacophony of bells, all preceded by palanquins bearing saints.

The next day, some friends of my aunt & uncle, who happen to have a daughter B's age, came for a picnic. We loaded the coolers, kids, and dogs (in order of importance) into the trucks and drove up the fire road into the national forest that borders their property. We parked across a stream from a lovely little glade and waded across, hauling all our gear. The grownups spent several relaxing hours lounging in the shade, while the kids and dogs frolicked on the hillside bordering the glade. Picnic pics:

"I want another cookie!"

Z all loaded up & ready to go:

and chilling with her dad:

while Sissy chilled in the chair next to them:

The only second B held still the entire day:

"What? You want me to take a bath?! But it's only been three days with me exploring the forest 16 hours a day without even a washcloth touching my skin!"

It was a lovely mini-vacation, and all of us, including Kiki, had a fabulous time. I hope it's not another three years before we can go again! At 5.5 hours away, it's so close, and yet so far. Particularly with a three year-old and a six year-old in the back seat. I'm not above bribing them with candy to keep the peace though!

Z does her own hair

2010-08-08T08:59:00.005-06:00

Z got in a little trouble today and got sent to her room for awhile. After she finished her hissy fit (note the pink & puffy eyes -- it was a doozy), it got veeeeeeerrrrrrry quiet in there. When she came out, she had done her own hair. She wore it like this all morning, and everyone at C0stco thought it was bootiful.

Happy birthday to the twinnadoes

2010-08-07T08:52:00.003-06:00

My sister and her family were here to visit in early August. I only got to see them once, thanks to my wackadoo travel schedule. The twins turned one shortly after they left, so my mom seized the opportunity to throw a party. Here's my sister with one of the two cute patooties -- I think this one is S, but I can't say for sure (REALLY identical twins):

That one must be A if the one in the yellow baby speedo is S. Or I could be totally wrong. Apparently she doesn't feed them enough, because one tried to eat my lens cap and the pool toys:

But his dad distracted him with a Mike's (What?! You're not supposed to give that to babies? But it makes them sleepy!)

One more extremely cute baby picture before we move on to pictures of my own babies:

Sadly, you won't see any pictures of B in this post. He doesn't much like having his picture taken anymore, and besides, he had a kajillion cousins to play with at this party, so the best I could've done would have been a B-tinted blur anyway. Here's my bathing beauty Z:

Who can also be quite the ham:

She occasionally holds still for a picture:

But most of the time you have to put the camera in multiple-shot mode and hope for the best:

Humor by B

2010-07-21T13:27:00.002-06:00

A conversation between M & B that took place last weekend, as they were on their way to see a movie:

M: I'm excited about the movie.
B: Yeah, I love 3D.
M: I don't know if this one will be in 3D; it might just be 2D.
B: (insert Bevis laugh), huh, huh, ummmm, you said tooty.

Wisdom from Z

2010-07-21T09:18:00.000-06:00

I don't like scooby divers. They're scary. Except the pink ones. I like them. The pink ones are gentle.

Z sings like a songbird

2010-07-20T10:39:00.001-06:00

Our little Miss Z can sing. She can carry a tune perfectly. I, on the other hand, sound like a wounded cat when I sing. Her current favorite is "Take Me Out to the Ballgame." She's got the melody down-pat. The lyrics, however, are a work in progress:

Take me out to the ballgame

Take me out to the game

Buy me some candy and crackerjack

I don't care if I ever back back

So it's loop, loop, loop for the phone ting

I don't know the words

Oh, no! No! No no no no!

At the old ball game!

Happy half-birthday to B!

2010-07-18T21:03:00.001-06:00

Poor B. M and I were extremely poor planners when it came to that whole get-pregnant and have-a-baby thing. His birthday is Christmas Eve, when it is VERY hard to get all your friends to come to a party. To make up for our bad planning, we started having half-birthdays when he was three and a half. On his actual birthday, we just have a small party for family. The half-birthday is when we have the big bash with all his friends.

This year, B requested a rollerskating party. He had gone rollerskating earlier this summer and loved it. So a rollerskating party it was. The rink even gave him a free pair of skates as a birthday gift!

Here's the half-birthday dude looking like a pro on skates:

And here are the three musketeers (B and his two best friends from school):

Here's one of the musketeers looking particularly angelic:

This little guy is the younger brother of the third musketeer, the one seated in the middle in the two pictures above:

I think B considers him sort of an honorary little brother. He's very protective of the little guy, and genuinely likes him.

And this is our friends' daughter. A lot of Z's pretty clothes are hand-me-downs from this very fashionable young lady.

I had forgotten how much fun rollerskating is! It had been at least 25 years since I'd been on rollerskates and I was pretty rusty, but there's something very soothing about it.

Happy birthday sweet B. I love you!

Doofenschmirtz Evil, Inc.

2010-07-18T15:19:00.000-06:00

Makes me sick to watch

2010-07-15T21:05:00.002-06:00

B with his buddies at Elitch's a couple weeks ago:

Beautiful

2010-07-08T18:43:00.000-06:00

See M run

2010-06-23T20:24:00.001-06:00

M ran a 50-mile race last Saturday. Yes, you read that right. No, I did not mean to type "5-mile." Nor did I mean to type 50 kilometer. I meant 50 miles. Normal people do not do this. Normal people cannot do this. And in my (normal) opinion, normal people should not want to do this. But he did. It was 50 miles at high elevation, some of it along the continental divide. There were many many stream crossings. There were places where the trail was so steep it was possible only to walk, not run. There were places where there was no trail, just scree fields. C.R.A.Z.Y.

Here he is coming into the finish:

He's not even crawling! Or sobbing! He even had enough strength left to pick up Z as he crossed the line:

We saw him twice along the course. At mile 15.7, around 8:30 in the morning, where the kids had a nice picnic breakfast while we waited:

The second time we saw him was at mile 40, around 4:00 in the afternoon. The plan had been for me to pace him from there to the finish, but my ankle is still hurting and I haven't run so much as one mile for three weeks now. Sad. But that's another story. Anyway, I probably would have slowed him down, because somehow he got a second wind and ran the last ten miles pretty fast.

The moral of this story: M is a bad ass. And slightly crazy.

I pity the fool

2010-06-14T21:02:00.003-06:00

Before and after:

Yes, I realize the "after" shot looks like a mug shot. It was his idea, but he didn't like it until about two days after we did it. Now that all the boys in Z's preschool want mohawks too, he's decided it's pretty cool after all. I'll try to get a happier-looking shot, one that captures the spirit of the 'do, in the next few days.

During:

Z's field day

2010-06-05T14:38:00.018-06:00

Today it was Z's turn to have a field day. Her school is for kids aged 18 months thru kindergarten entry, so it not quite the same as B's. A lot less organization, but still a lot of fun. She did a lot of random running around:

And B excelled at the obstacle course, setting a course record for the day

I won the sack race (only because nobody but me was racing):

B and I ran the three-legged race, with Z along for support:

And it wouldn't be field day if your dad didn't knock you to the ground and tickle you until you begged for mercy:

And even though it was a "baby" field day, B played along graciously and had a good time. Here he is explaining to Z all the events she's done, all marked with stickers on her ribbon:

Field Day

2010-05-28T19:45:00.037-06:00

Today was B's last day of kindergarten. Only it wasn't a school day -- it was field day! They had it at a park, since his school doesn't have playing fields yet. (They're being built this summer.) Kids stayed with their class and competed against their classmates, and rotated around three stations: tug-o-war, 25-yard dash, and egg & spoon race. We started at the tug-o-war:

The event we all like the best was the 25-yard dash though. Z got to race:

I love how that little boy is leering at Z instead of watching where he's going!

I got to race, with B on my back (I'm the one in a pink t-shirt, black shorts, and blue cap, with a monkey on my back):

B ended up winning a second-place ribbon in the 25-yard dash. He was SO proud! He did great too. The kid who beat him was at least six inches taller, so I don't think B had a chance against him.

Look at the determination on this kid's face!

This is the face of a tired B:

Just because I like it

2010-05-17T19:45:00.002-06:00

This is a closeup of part of a sculpture at The Best Park Ever. I love this sculpture. It's colory (yes, I realize this is not a real word, yet I like it anyway) -- and even two of my favorite colors -- and it's sparkly. It doesn't get any better than that.

Love

2010-05-12T18:46:00.000-06:00

Z loves her big brother

Run like a mother

2010-05-09T19:29:00.002-06:00

I ran a 10K race this morning. Good times, aside from my back going into a spasm in the last mile, which somehow caused my groin muscle to also spasm. That felt good. But it was only a mile, so I survived. I may not be able to walk tomorrow, but who needs to walk?

The kids ran races too. There was a 50-yard dash for two & three year-olds, and a slightly longer dash for 6-8 year-olds. They even got to wear numbers! They've been very excited about racing for weeks now, and B has been regularly going out in the back yard to train -- running as fast as he can back and forth across the yard. I was a little worried about Z -- she's not super-fond of loud noises and big crowds, and I was afraid that she wouldn't want to run a race all by herself. Well, I worried for nothing! She ran as fast as her little legs could carry her, and you should've seen her face when she finished -- she was so proud I thought she was going to explode! Here we are after her race:

Here's B's race just taking off at the starting line:

And here he is mid-race (he's right on the double-yellow line in the center of the picture, wearing a long-sleeved black top and gray shorts):

And here he is coming in for a strong finish:

Here's me coming into the finish in my race (I'm #1012):

And me with my B right after the finish:

I'm pretty happy with how I ran, considering that I really made zero effort to train for this race. I've been trying to recover from multiple injuries for the past four months, and just haven't been putting in many miles. But my time is annoying me a little -- 1:01. So close to being under an hour! I know myself well enough to know that by the end of this coming week, I'll have found another 10K to run in a month or so, so I can finish in under an hour. I'm an addict.

Z took this picture of M while I was running - I love it b/c it looks exactly like what a girl's-eye view of her daddy must look like:

After the race we headed to my parents' house for a picnic lunch with them and my brother and his wife. I'm afraid I somehow didn't take any pictures while we were there. But after lunch, while M & Z were napping (I KNOW! It doesn't seem right that I ran a race, but M got to nap, does it?!), B and I went to The Best Park Ever. I snapped a couple pictures of him there:

Happy Mother's Day everyone!

Slumber party

2010-04-30T19:24:00.001-06:00

This is where the kids are sleeping tonight. It's totally their idea. I think it's a fabulous idea. They've been getting closer lately. Getting along better, playing together a lot. I think the fact that they want to sleep together is wonderful. I just wonder if the reality will play out the way the think it will.

It will either go really, really well, or it will be a night of hell. Wish me luck.

UPDATE: The slumber party went astonishingly well! Not only did both kids sleep all night, but they even got up in the morning & tippy-toed past my door to go watch cartoons. I got an extra half hour of quiet in bed! Awesome. Of course, it was too good to last. We tried it again the next night and it lasted all of two minutes before there was screaming and Z needed to be removed to her own room. Oh well. Maybe we'll try it again in another week or so!

See J run: an update

2010-04-19T12:14:00.000-06:00

I haven't talked much about running lately. Or much about anything actually (bad blogger!). But I'm coming back from a nagging injury, have acquired a new nagging injury, yet am loving my spring runs.

I signed up for a race series last fall -- three races between December and February -- just to give myself a reason to keep running through the winter. It worked. I even bought a three-month pass to the rec center near my office so I could run on a treadmill on those days when the temperature was in the single digits. I ran in the worst possible weather -- wind, sleet, freezing cold. I ran on streets when the trails were too muddy or icy. I took running gear with me when I traveled for business, and found great runs all over the country and hit the treadmill in a few hotel gyms. I was the Energ!zer Bunny -- I kept going and going and going.

Race #1 went great. It was my first race ever, and I finished faster than I expected to, which really got me excited.

Then I got hurt. I'm not even sure exactly what I did, but my medial hamstring hurt like a mother for weeks. I ended up skipping race #2. I quit running for about ten days, but it didn't seem to make all that much difference, so I started back slowly. That didn't make it any worse, so I kept going.

Race #3 was even more fun than the first! Once gain, I finished faster than I expected to (although I'm sure my time would have been even better if I hadn't taken off those 10 days in January).

Unfortunately, while the hamstring has been feeling better & better, now my right ankle hurts. I gave it a two-day break, but it hurt again after the very next run. I'm going to keep going as long as it doesn't get worse. If it does, I guess I'll go to the doctor. I am resisting this, because I know the first thing she will say is that I have to stop running for awhile. I don't want to!

So now I've finished my race series, and rather than be left without goals, I've come up with some new ones:

Mother's Day -- I'm running a 9K. An odd distance, I know, and it will be a bummer not to have a 10K PR to work off of. But it should be a fun race -- all women -- and there's a kids' race before it for the monkeys. B is already psyched for it and has been doing some backyard training.

September -- I'm either going to do a half-marathon, or a full marathon. I haven't decided which yet; it'll depend on how many miles I am able to get in over the spring. I have to decide which race to enter by May 31.

Thanks Banana!

2010-04-18T12:39:00.000-06:00

B's school held a fundraiser recently, and their Nana won a four-pack of Hammond's lollipops in the door prize drawing. The kids didn't think Nana needed lollipops so much, so they came up with the idea that they should persuade her to give the lollipops to them, and in return they'd send her some art work. She fell for it (she's kind of a pushover when it comes to the grandkids!), and here's B enjoying his lolli after lunch today:

Pancakes with chopsticks

2010-04-11T20:52:00.000-06:00

Isn't that how you eat pancakes? With chopsticks? Oh. Maybe it's only done with chocolate chip pancakes then.

B found these on our walk this morning. He brought them home and very artfully arranged them in a bowl of water "to make the house more beautiful."

This is Z with my cousin Ali. She was in Vail for a few days, so the kids and I drove up to have dinner with her last night. We only manage to see each other once every couple of years, so it was a treat. In this picture, Z is playing games on the phone. She also figured out how to get online and then started making calls to China.

This is the only picture I got of B while we were in Vail. He wouldn't sit still long enough for me to take a picture. He wasn't even really still in this one! I'm mainly including it here because I can't get enough of his toothless grin.

Birds & the bees

2010-04-06T20:33:00.001-06:00

B: Daddy, look what Kenai and Josie are doing!

[M looks out the dining room window to see Kenai vigorously humping Josie in the backyard.]

M: Uuuuuhhhhhhhhh..... [imagining B explaining how dogs do the nasty to his kindergarten friends]

B: Josie is trying to give Kenai a piggy-back ride!

M: Yes, yes she is. [audible sigh of relief]

Hoppy Easter!

2010-04-04T07:57:00.000-06:00

I'm sure my Christian friends will be disappointed (yet not surprised) to read this, but Easter is ALL ABOUT THE CANDY in this house. Easter has hands-down the best candy of the year, and I get very excited and a little out of control when I go shopping for it. But oh! So yummy.

I'm not really sure why, but this is what happened when M asked Z to say "cheese." Probably she was too focused on all the candy to be able to summon a real smile. Or maybe that's a defensive smile; she thought he was going to take her candy and replace it with cheese.

And for some reason, both kids gave us pirate smiles this morning:

The best part of the morning though? B was so kind to his little sister. He helped her find eggs, and even gave her some of his. That's right, B shared with Z. It's an Easter miracle.

Play date

2010-04-02T17:57:00.000-06:00

Lucky B got to spend the morning with his best bud from school. We tried to meet at a park, but the wind was blowing hard & cold, so we gave that up after about two minutes and headed to the friend's house.

B's going to spend the whole summer with this friend -- his mom is going to watch B while M & I are working. "Watch" is an understatement -- she's got lots of nannying experience & works in the boys' classroom at school, and has planned the summer with a lot of care. They're going to have a blast! And I'm happy that B will have a "real" summer instead of going to camp at the school. That just seems like a variation on more school to me. Z will stay at her preschool for the summer (more fun than "school" every day of the year!).

By the way, B's friend lost that tooth on the very same day that B lost the first of his two top teeth. It happened at school for both of them. B lost his second tooth at my mom & dad's house last Tuesday (corn on the cob for dinner did the trick!), but his bud is hanging onto the second one for now.

Look ma, no teef!

2010-03-31T18:28:00.002-06:00

2010-03-26T10:56:00.000-06:00

Check out B's new haircut -- yep, I finally convinced him to get it cut. I told him it was either that or let me wash & comb it more often. He went with the haircut to avoid that!

And an evening wagon ride around the neighborhood is a great thing to do on a spring day! It's certainly better than staying cooped up in the house with tired kids.

Intolerance

2010-03-12T11:13:00.000-07:00

There is one thing I cannot tolerate. OK, there's more than one -- anyone who hurts children and animals, spiders, zucchini, harmonica music -- but there's one really big one, and that's lack of tolerance. It drives me crazy.

A friend pointed out a post today on the blog of someone who's rather well-known in the adoption-blogging world. She's one of those blogging adoptive moms who's very in-your-face with her religion, the kind who might smugly wield "I'll pray for you" as a weapon. And she also apparently believes that anyone who doesn't share her particular brand of religion is going straight to hell. I suppose I'll see quite a few of you there. It'll be like an eternal girls' night out!

How did Christianity become so perverted? Honestly, how did it go from a shared belief in tolerance, love and charity toward one's neighbors to being a belief in "My way is the only way?" I have some close friends and relatives who are devout Christians, and for the most part, they seem to respect my decidedly secular spiritual beliefs. But there is a subset of Christians who do not. They adhere so closely to the dogma that they seem to fail to understand the broader philosophies that lie beneath it. Sadly, these people seem to be the face of modern American Christianity. They preach hatred toward Muslims and believe that hundreds of millions of people are wrong about their spiritual beliefs. How can they not see their own arrogance? How can they believe that Jesus would endorse this kind of intolerance?

I don't understand it, and I cannot tolerate it. I am compelled to point out bigotry when I see it, and this kind of thinking, my friends, is bigotry disguised as Christianity.

An essay by B

2010-03-12T09:12:00.002-07:00

In case you need a translation:

My dog's name is Kenai.
My cat's name is Lulu.
My other cat's name is Kitten.

A trip down memory lane

2010-02-26T17:34:00.001-07:00

I'm not only a bad blogger, I'm a bad parent. I have hardly taken any pictures over the past several months. What I really need is a picture of B since we made him get his hair cut. Well, we didn't really make him. We just told him that he'd have to brush & wash it more often if he was going to keep it long. He was in the barber's chair in the blink of an eye.

So these are pictures taken last September that never made it onto the blog. Hiker B looks SO young in these pictures! It's amazing how much he's grown up in just five months. Kindergarten will do that to you, or so I hear. Both of these were taken on our Backyard Mountain.

Then there's the ever-popular Z-pounds-a-beer shot. Ever since he totally freaked me out by sending Z in to chug water out of a beer bottle in front of me, M has thought it's hilarious to let her "drink beer."

Peek-a-boo!

2010-02-12T09:05:00.002-07:00

Halloween in February

2010-02-12T09:04:00.001-07:00

Is there anything better to do on a dreary Sunday in February than get out the dress-up box?

Valentines

2010-02-10T09:16:00.000-07:00

My dad sent me these this morning. The first is a valentine card sent in 1906 by my great-grandfather Vivion to my great-grandmother Josie. The other is their wedding picture. Sweet, huh?

Christmas morning

2010-02-05T13:48:00.000-07:00

What?! I told you I was behind.

This is B holding his cousin Andy. He was terribly proud of his ability to entertain Andy & his twin brother Sam, and even went so far as to tell me I should have another baby so he'd have a little brother to play with. Riiiiiiight.

Z was easy to please at Christmas. When asked what she really wanted, all she could come up with was a box of band-aids. So Santa brought her a box of Elmo band-aids. There were hours of amusement in that little box, all for about $1. And band-aids stuck on e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g.

This last one has nothing to do with Christmas, although it was taken on Christmas morning. I just wanted to show off what truly spectacular bedhead Miss Z is capable of pulling off:

Oldies but goodies

2010-02-03T16:18:00.000-07:00

Taken on January 10, and left to languish on the computer without a bloggy home:

Another day, another playground

2010-01-31T18:04:00.000-07:00

Sunny afternoon at the playground

2010-01-30T15:54:00.000-07:00

Ummm....

2010-01-28T18:53:00.000-07:00

...at least he's grasping the concept? Just trying to put a positive spin on this one...

I got an email from B's kindergarten teacher today. She wanted to give us warning ahead of time so we wouldn't think she was a terrible teacher. I guess B's been copying down a lot of words lately, and she wanted to know where he was as far as actually spelling words. So she asked him to write down some words from out of his head. In B's defense, he can spell a whole lot of words, but I'm sure it's absolutely true that these were the only words that came to mind:

POOP
FRTE

A note about the second one: some people spell it FART. B was logically applying the "magic E" rule to R: magic E makes the vowel before it say its name.

I laughed until I cried, and did my best to get that out of my system before I had The Talk with B about how the at-home ban on potty words extends to school too.

Z at school

2010-01-27T10:55:00.004-07:00

Yeah yeah, I know. Bad blogger. Christmas was busy, and my job has exploded this month. I've got oodles of pictures piled up that I'll try to get edited & posted one of these days. In the meantime, here are some pictures of Z in action at school:

Can you see the band-aid on her forehead in the one above? She threw herself to the floor in the midst of a hissy fit and hit her head on a door hinge, leaving a large gouge in her forehead. They called me to come get her, and the pediatrician glued it back together for her.

Note the stylin' new specs in this last photo. We got them a couple of weeks ago, and this time it's going much better than it did when we tried a year and a half ago. She kept taking them off and breaking them then, making them more of a liability than anything. This time we got some that are supposed to be unbreakable. They're also very flexible, so I imagine they're more comfy for her. She's doing a great job of keeping them on.

Z at the beach

2009-12-22T06:55:00.000-07:00

She's less sure of the water than B. I remember him being afraid of the waves when he was little too, so I bet she'll love it when she's bigger too.

B loves the beach

2009-12-21T17:35:00.000-07:00

I think he inherited this from me. That's odd, seeing as how M grew up by the beach and loves the mountains beyond all else. And I grew up with the mountains, but feel more at home at the beach than anywhere else. B seems to have the beach thing going on:

Yes, it's been a criminally long time since I updated the blog. While we were on vacation my job somehow exploded, and I found myself cramming for a whole week for a big presentation, then flying off to Pennsylvania to deliver it last week. But now I'm on Christmas vacation, so I'll be catching up.

Two years ago today

2009-12-03T06:00:00.037-07:00

B and I were at home on a gloomy Monday afternoon. I was feeling pretty down, in spite of the fact that my 40th birthday party two days earlier had been a raging good time. I was blue because I'd been told back in September by our agency to expect our referral off the next list, yet three months had gone by without that phone call. I'd finally cracked the Friday before, and asked M to call the agency. They told him they were sorry to let us down, but we'd have to wait for the next list afterall. It would probably come in January or February. So I was at the very bottom of the lowest part of our adoption wait. I'd ridden the rollercoaster -- the high of turning in our dossier, the gradual descent as the realization of how long we'd really wait began to sink in, a gradual climb that began when we turned in our medical conditions checklist, another descent as the promised six-month wait stretched to a year, then the dizzying height of excitement when I heard we'd be next. Then crash. Down to the bottom with that Friday phone call between M and the agency.

So back to Monday, December 3, 2007...the phone rang at 3:55pm. Coincidentally, this is the same time of day B had been born, three years and 344 days earlier. I saw "Chinese Children" in caller ID, and before I even picked up, I knew. In spite of the fact that the Friday before, they'd told us we'd have to wait another few months, I knew this was The Call. And it was.

Hello? (playing dumb)

Hello, is this J?

Yes. (still playing dumb)

This is D with CCAI.

Oh hi, D. How are you? (How dumb can I play? At this point, I was afraid that any hint of excitement or anticipation in my voice would jinx it, and it would turn out to be just some routine call, asking for another bit of paperwork.)

Well, I'm calling to tell you about your daughter.

From this point on, the conversation is mostly a blur. I grabbed a scrap of paper and scribbled down a few things. Her name. Her birth date. Her medical condition. Her province. D promised to email photos to me at home and M at work in the next few minutes.

I called M's office, and it went to voicemail. I called his cell phone, and it went to voicemail. Nearly hysterical, I called the receptionist, cited a "family emergency," and demanded that she page him. He picked up, and the news just poured out of me. I'm sure I made very little sense. We opened the email at the same time, M in his office, B on my lap in front of our home computer. And this is what we saw:

Leaving on a jet plane

2009-12-01T11:59:00.001-07:00

We're off to visit M's mom, aka Nana, aka Banana, bright and early tomorrow morning. Look out Virginia Beach, here we come!

I don't really know what to say about this

2009-11-23T19:16:00.002-07:00

Girl in a bubble(bath)

2009-11-22T19:32:00.000-07:00

Continent house

2009-11-20T09:49:00.000-07:00

B has been studying the continents at school and has decorated our house with his school work. "At least it's better than incontinent house," the UPS guy told me the other day.

So I married a comedian

2009-11-19T12:00:00.000-07:00

I was telling M a few nights ago that I sometimes don't like to brush my teeth before I go to bed. If I've already gotten all sleepy, the extreme minty-ness of my toothpaste is a stimulant of sorts. I don't WANT to wake up when I'm all snuggled in my bed with visions of sugarplums dancing in my head. My solution to this problem is simple: brush my teeth earlier in the evening, before I get all sleepy. M had another thought though: I should try a new flavor of toothpaste, something less invigorating. I asked "like what?" and he said, "Well, it would probably have to be pinot grigio."

So proud of my B!

2009-11-16T11:00:00.003-07:00

B was selected by his teacher to be a student ambassador. Two kids are picked from each class (the other ambassador from B's class is one of his two best friends, Joel). According to the permission slip I just signed, B will "develop leadership skills through representing the school at two evening events in the next two months, serving as an interview candidate for articles and photos submitted to local publications, and serving as a host and tour guide during new student visits in the spring."

This Wednesday, he and Joel have decided to wear ties when they lead parents on tours of the school before the school's "Share the Vision" night. We're going necktie shopping after school tonight!

I shouldn't really be surprised that he was selected, given how our first parent-teacher conference went last month. His teacher told me that he is far ahead of all the other students in the class in math, and she believes he is gifted in both math and language. I'm so glad we chose this school for him! I think the attitude of the school and the Montessori approach will really help him both do well in and enjoy school.

So please pardon my boasting, but I am just so proud of that kid that I could explode!

Next F00d Network star?

2009-11-07T16:36:00.003-07:00

Guess who made dinner last Tuesday? I'll give you a hint: it wasn't me. We switched our schedules around a few weeks ago b/c B didn't like before-care, and now I don't get home until 6 or 6:30. But it wasn't M either. It was B! He asked if he could make dinner, and ended up making a plate full of sandwiches. Some were PB&J, some were PB&H (honey), and some were PB&J&H. M helped him cut them up, and he served them family-style. He kept putting pieces on my plate, saying "You HAVE to try this one. It's delicious!" He was so proud. And they were delicious!

Happy Halloween

2009-11-01T19:17:00.002-07:00

What a sugarfest! We've had to peel the kids off the ceiling and tie them down to their beds to get them off their sugar highs these past two days. Just kidding. Kind of.

It's been party-city around here. Z's preschool is too PC to observe ANY holidays (sad), but B's school had a costume parade on Friday. We went from there to another costume parade at M's work, and from there to a family bowling night sponsored by B's school, where there was yet another costume parade.

On the big day itself, we went to a Halloween party at a neighbor's house, then I took the kids trick-or-treating while M rushed home to hand out candy to all three kids that rang our doorbell. It was a beautiful night -- the best trick-or-treating weather I can remember since B was born. There was a nearly-full moon, and the temperature was in the 50s. Most neighbors even shoveled all that snow off their sidewalks for the kids!

B went as Luke Skywalker (of course), and Z was a chicken, thanks to Lisa, whose Emme wore this adorable chicken costume last year. A friend of M's suggested he should've gone as Colonel Sanders. He hangs out with some sickos.

In the past, we used to hold onto B's candy & dole it out 2-3 pieces a night, after a good dinner had been eaten. Last year we decided to put him in charge, with a few ground rules like no candy before breakfast. It was gone in about a week. We decided to go with that again. Think about it -- even if some of the candy mysteriously disappears overnight (which we couldn't pull over on B anymore -- he knows there are exactly 78 pieces of candy in that pumpkin), if you dole it out 2-3 pieces a night, you have Halloween candy in the house until Christmas, when new candy enters. You dole that out, and next thing you know, it's Valentine's Day. Then there's Easter (which everybody knows offers THE BEST CANDY OF THE YEAR!!!). You end up with candy every night for six months. That's a habit folks!

So we laid out the four following ground rules. Inside of these, the monkeys can consume as much candy as they want to, whenever (although the volume in Z's pumpkin is going to be mysteriously cut in half overnight tonight -- I'll be eating candy at work all week). The rules are:

1. No candy between waking up & eating breakfast.
2. No candy during the hour before dinner.
3. No candy wrappers anywhere but the trash can.
4. Candy must be kept on a shelf inside the closet, with the door shut, when not being actively consumed (think of the damage Kenai could do with a 78 pieces of candy)

Sunrise, day before the storm

2009-10-28T15:14:00.000-06:00

Snow day

2009-10-28T15:11:00.000-06:00

We woke up this morning to nearly a foot of snow on the ground. Actually, we woke up at 5:30, when the automated call from the school district told us that schools would be closed for the day. Then we went back to sleep, and by the time we got up around 7:00, the snow was starting to pile up. It's closer to two feet now I think, and still snowing hard. Who knows how much we'll have by the time it's moved on tomorrow? I'm trying not to think about it.

Perfect Colorado fall weekend

2009-10-18T11:46:00.000-06:00

Bad dream

2009-10-17T08:40:00.000-06:00

I had nightmare after nightmare last night (I think the stress of being trapped in the house with a bunch of sick people is getting to me). I'll keep the scary serial killer ones to myself and share just this one with you:

I dreamed that the Brazilian National Symphony played for B's birthday. Why Brazil? Does Brazil even have a national symphony? I have no idea. B sat there sullenly throughout the performance, which I found rather embarrassing in my dream. Then at the end of their performance, they played a rousing rendition of "Happy birthday to you," at the end of which B folded his arms across his chest and yelled out "LA-AME!" How humiliating.

House of plague

2009-10-11T19:42:00.000-06:00

B has been sick since Friday night, with what turns out to be H1N1. Then less than an hour after returning home from the urgent care visit that confirmed the diagnosis, Z came down with a fever. She doesn't seem to feel bad at all yet, but poor B is hurting. He's burning up with fever, 103 even with drugs on board, and has a scary hacking cough. The doctor said his lungs sounded good though, so apparently the cough is not as scary as it sounds. This afternoon he started complaining that his legs & his head ache. The poor little dude. There's really nothing we can do but keep drugs in him & keep him drinking fluids. I'll call Z's doctor in the morning, since her age puts her in the high-risk group. Maybe she'll luck out & they'll give her antivirals.

Let's hope M and I can hold out. I don't know what we'll do if all four of us are as sick as B is right now, all at the same time! At least now that debate over whether or not to vaccinate the kids for H1N1 is moot.

Hello Ireland!

2009-10-09T20:47:00.000-06:00

Where are you all coming from? Do leave a comment to say hello please.

A painful issue brings up hard questions

2009-10-08T12:05:00.005-06:00

A giant controversy is brewing in the China adoption community. More and more evidence is coming to light that corruption is deeply embedded in China's international adoption program. Read more about it here. It's not a new story -- here's one from 2005. It's not limited to U.S. media either. It's actually been a bigger story inside China, with U.S. papers just now picking it up months after it came out there. For good background on the issue, read the September 30, 2009 entry here. Yes, I know he's controversial, and I often have doubts about his research methodology, but he's far from the only person beating this drum. I think we have to pay attention to what he is saying.

Back in late 2005 and early 2006, the Chinese government managed to convince the rest of the world that baby-buying was an isolated incident involving a handful of corrupt orphanage directors, not a widespread problem. It is beginning to appear that this was not the truth. It is beginning to appear that it is common practice in many parts of the country for orphanages to pay for babies, and that it has been common for quite some time. It happens in different ways. Sometimes babies are stolen outright and sold to orphanages. Horrific. Sometimes family planning officials forcibly remove babies from their parents because the parents have exceeded their one/two-child quota. Again, horrific. In other cases, orphanages hire "finders" who spread the word that they are willing to pay for healthy babies. This is slightly less horrific, since it obviously allows someone in a child's birth family to make a choice of sorts. But is it really a choice? If the finder's cash payment weren't an option, would the birth family keep the child? Would they find a family member, neighbor or friend to raise the child if they couldn't afford to themselves? Is it any easier for a Chinese woman to hand her newborn baby to a stranger, knowing she'll never see her again, than it would be for YOU to do it? Of course not.

Then there's China's one-child policy (not actually one child in all cases, but let's call it that because it's a simpler phrase than something more accurate would be). The fines for having a child beyond your family's quota can amount to three years' salary for some families. If the child in question is beyond quota, how many families can afford to pay the fines? There aren't any payment plans. And hiding an over-quota child is not feasible for most families either. That child could not receive medical care or go to school. Upon reaching adulthoold, that child would not be able to get a job or a home. The policy is truly the villain in this story. It puts Chinese families in unthinkable positions and forces choices that no parent should ever face. But the policy is not something that we have the power to change, and it is unlikely to change soon.

I think abandonment still happens in China, but it is much less common than it was a decade ago. I think it most often happens now with single mothers who really don't have a chance to parent their child given the norms of modern Chinese society, and with children who have special needs that are visible at birth. Again, these parents simply don't have a chance to parent their children, given widespread poverty and the lack of a social safety net in China. But Chinese families are wealthier than they were a decade ago, and attitudes toward baby girls are changing. I just don't think that healthy babies are abandoned as often as they used to be.

I'm astounded at the China adoption community's response to this story. Many are enraged that the media is talking about it. They seem to be fearful that it will end China's international adoption program, thereby depriving them of the child they've been waiting for. I understand the heartbreak of the wait; we waited too, although not nearly as long as some will wait. I can understand how devastating it would be to see your dream of adopting from China come to an end. But really, would you knowingly enter into an adoption if you had reason to believe these stories were true? That your child may have been stolen from her parents and sold to an orphanage? Or that her parents willingly gave her up for money? I would not. That is precisely why we discarded Guatemala as an option for our family. I would not knowingly be a party to this sort of corruption.

Others in the community simply discard this story as lies. Perhaps it's not true; we don't have conclusive proof afterall. But it is certainly beginning to look as if it could be true. How is it helpful to anyone to bury your head in the sand and pretend like it's not happening? If you already have adopted Chinese children at home, don't you think that someday they will hear about this? They'll find it on the Internet when they're older, or worse, someone will say something stupid in the grocery store or on the playground, and they'll hear about it that way. Don't you think you should be as educated as you can be, so that you can have a thoughtful and honest conversation with your child?

And adoption agencies continue to spoon-feed us stories of orphanages full of abandoned babies who need homes. Are they lying to us, or do they believe it? If they believe it, should they? Don't they of all people have an obligation to know what's going on in China, so they can inform their families?

Other questions I'm struggling with include my own unwitting role in this story. Did I perpetuate this sort of corruption by adopting from China? Am I obligated to initiate a conversation with Z about this at some point in the future when she is emotionally mature enough to understand it? Or do I wait until she discovers it to have the conversation? And have I made it inevitable that she will discover it by blogging about it? And how on Earth do I talk about this with her in a manner that is sensitive yet honest?

Speculating about Z's history is simply to painful for me to even get into just yet. I derive minimal comfort from the thought that her special need may have been recognizable from birth, leading her parents to abandon her in a safe place so that needs they couldn't afford to tend to could receive medical care. But I have a huge amount of soul-searching to do before I can begin to answer any of these questions and begin to contemplate Z's own story.

This is terribly painful for me. This is something that was not entirely off my radar screen while we were in the adoption process, since the Hunan story broke while we were doing our dossier, but I believed what I read. I believed that Hunan was an isolated case of corruption. I believed that abandonment was an ongoing problem in China. I believed that thousands of children were waiting in orphanages and had little chance of finding families if families like mine did not adopt. That orphanage care was by definition worse than being adopted by a family of a different nationality and race. I don't think I could have gotten deeply enough into these issues before we adopted to see them as I do now. They are infinitely more complex than I could have known. Somehow, when the child was still an abstraction, these issues remained somewhat abstract too. It is also true that it has taken me years to discover how many resources are truly available to adoptive parents, and I continue to discover new ones all the time.

I struggled about whether or not to blog about this. Obviously I lean toward the idea that I do have an obligation to talk to Z about this someday, or I wouldn't have done it. The bottom line to me is this: we, as adoptive parents and future adoptive parents, have an obligation to learn as much about this as we can. We need to discuss, analyze and debate it among ourselves, so that we can talk about it with our kids someday. I think they will hear about it one way or another, and they will come to us for answers. We also need to resolve our own internal dilemmas, and maybe even guilt, over this issue. That is the road I am headed down now.

All dressed up

2009-10-07T22:23:00.000-06:00

to go out to dinner for Mid-Autumn Festival with the neighbors. We went out for Chinese, of course.

Crime scene

2009-10-05T19:33:00.000-06:00

I convinced the kids to let me outline them with chalk yesterday. B then made them anatomically correct. That little scribble at the top of his chalk-head is his brain, or so he says.

Inquiring minds want to know

2009-10-05T11:45:00.004-06:00

B has been asking me some heavy questions lately. "If the first person on Earth was a baby, how did it get here without a mommy and daddy? Or if a mommy or daddy was first, didn't they have to be a baby before they were grown up? So then how did they get here?"

We talked a little bit about God, what different people and religions think about God and how people got to be on Earth. And we talked a little bit about evolution. But he's curious. And smart. Scary smart.

I think it's time to start taking B to church. Seeing as how I'm such a dirty hippie, it's going to have to be the Unitarian Church. Here is the description of our local UU church's Sunday school program for kindergarteners & first-graders:

"A Discovering Year nurtures children’s spiritual and religious growth through connections to their ever-widening environment. They explore selves, friendships, families, church, nature, and religious and cultural days. Through ritual, sharing times, quiet times, crafts, activities, singing and music, games and movement, stories and talks, they learn to appreciate the worth of each person, to work and play cooperatively, to express feelings, to celebrate human diversity, and to feel part of their UU community."

I hope this will help B start searching for answers to his Big Questions. It will also help me feel part of a community I'll enjoy, since I can go to services while he's in Sunday school. I just hope the church doesn't spontaneously burst into flame when I set foot inside...

Funny girl

2009-09-30T11:35:00.002-06:00

Last night we were eating dinner at a restaurant when a man came in wearing an Elmo shirt. Yes, a grown man. In his defense, he was carrying a gift and went to a table where a family with a boy who looked about four-ish was seated, so I'm assuming he wore it to please the birthday kid. Maybe not. Maybe he's just weird, or maybe he's very cheap & found it in the 'donate' bin at church or something.

Anyway, Z took one look at this guy and spontaneously burst into song:

"la-laa la-la, la-laa la-la, Elmo shirt, Elmo shirt!"

Not feeling the love

2009-09-29T13:06:00.004-06:00

I have not had the energy to blog lately. I've had a little run of bad luck, and it's had me down. I'll spare you the gory details, but the bullet-points version goes something like this:

Somebody slammed into my parked car on 9/19 (I was not in it at the time, so nobody got hurt).
The dumbass tow truck driver hauled it to the body shop by the back end, thereby burning out the transmission.
Thanks to the transmission damage, the insurance company declared my car a total loss last week.
They're only giving me about $8000, which is not nearly enough to buy a car that I feel safe driving my kids around in.
So we're looking at used Subarus, with a $10-12,000 auto loan in our very near future.

To top it all off, I fell down on a trail run a couple days after the accident and banged myself up quite nicely, and now I seem to have acquired a nasty cold that today migrated down to my chest and has lodged itself quite solidly there. And I got an email for Z's preschool director saying that there's a confirmed case of flu in her classroom. They're not saying for sure that it's H1N1, but since 90% + of all cases of influenza A are turning out to be H1N1 in Colorado this fall, the odds are good that it is. Oh, goody. I know two families where the entire family has come down with it together. Wouldn't that be fun? Especially with a nice chest cold going to start me off on the right foot.

There have been some glimmers of happiness in all my gloom, like the visit I made to my sister last weekend to snuggle the twinitos and my big win at the racetrack on Saturday (a whole $9!). Let me get the car buying hassle out of the way, return the craptacular Ford Focus to Enterprise (who, by the way, did NOT pick me up on the day of the accident), and refocus myself, and I'll do a nice sunshine and rainbows blog post with some of the many pictures and videos I've been storing up over the past couple of weeks. Maybe that'll happen on Friday.

Popcorn!

2009-09-21T20:20:00.002-06:00

How cute is this?!

2009-09-12T12:30:00.002-06:00

No words

2009-09-11T18:54:00.001-06:00

Accountability

2009-09-10T12:58:00.009-06:00

I barely made my 50 mile goal for the month of August, and only by cranking out a 6.7 mile run on the 31st to get me to 50.7 miles for the month. So I have a new strategy: I'm going to have weekly goals instead of monthly goals. I'm going to gradually build my miles each week, and then "rest" a bit every fourth week.

September's weekly goals:
~~1. Week of 8/31: 11 miles~~
~~2. Week of 9/7: 13 miles~~
3. Week of 9/14: 14 miles Oops, only 9.5. Bad week. I'll try this again next week.
4. Week of 9/21: 14 miles RATS! I was almost there. 11 miles with one day left, and I was at sea-level (easy running). Then I got sick. Let's hope the third time is the charm.
5. Week of 9/28: 14 miles Sick.
~~6. Week of 10/5: 14 miles~~ Finally!
~~7. Week of 10/12: 10 miles~~ 10.5
8. Week of 10/19: 15 miles

DO SOMETHING!!

2009-09-09T10:23:00.009-06:00

It's time to take action on health care reform.

I'm starting to fear that the public health care option is slipping away. I was not an Obama supporter in the early phase of the primaries specifically because I thought his stance on health care was not strong enough. I also thought he wasn't liberal enough in general, but that's another story. I came around because I thought he had leadership qualities and the ability to inspire people in a way that no other candidate had. Sadly, I'm starting to fear that I made a mistake and my initial feelings about him were right.

The power of right-wing talk radio and Fox "News" is so great that they are able to convince people of things that sound utterly ridiculous if you think about it for even a second. Does anyone REALLY believe that the government would set up "death panels" to decide who gets health care and who doesn't? Or that Obama's health care advisors don't value the lives of the elderly? Please. That's just silly. Why would you believe that? Particularly when there's so much evidence to the contrary. And if those things are not true, why would so many people be going to such great lengths to convince you that they ARE true? What could their motive be? I say they stand to profit in some way by keeping things the way they are. They are profiting, whether directly or indirectly, from the profit-based health care rationing system we currently live with.

They've also managed to convince people that the government won't do a good job of providing health care because government can't do ANYTHING right. Again, give me a break! Here's a list of just a half-dozen or so things the U.S. government does well. Big things. And I owe my dad (a lifelong Republican) thanks for helping me think of some of these.
1) The government doubled the size of the country with the Lousiana Purchase.
2) The government thought up and executed the Homestead Act, without which most of us wouldn't own property or a home today (and if you don't think the Homestead Act was socialism, go get a dictionary and check the definition!).
3) The government will come to your house, pick up a letter, and for $0.44, deliver it to the opposite coast, 2,500 miles away, in just a few days. And surprise! The U.S. Postal Service has not put UPS and FedEx out of business yet (the postal equivalents of private health insurance companies in this analogy).
4) The government built and maintains the interstate highway system.
5) Who do you think it is that answers the phone and sends an ambulance to your house in a matter of minutes when you're hurt or threatened? The government.
6) And I suppose you think the U.S. military sucks too. What?! You don't? You think it's the greatest military force on the planet? Oh. That's interesting. And who do you think runs the military? Ah, right. The government.
7) Speaking of the military, let's take a closer look at that argument that they can't do health care right. The VA health care system and Tri-Care, the health care system for our nation's military, are among the world's best. Who do you think runs those? The government.
8) Social security. No, it's not perfect, but jeez louise! The government sends you a check every month! Do you know what happens in lots of other countries when you get too old to work? Either your kids take care of you, or you die.
9) Medicare. Again, it's not perfect, but I personally know many people who would have died without it. My grandfather was one. Since the same corporations that are against public health care don't want to provide health coverage to their retirees, Medicare is the only option for most elderly Americans. Would you prefer that we got rid of this public option?

Today I sent copies of the letter below to my member of Congress, both my U.S. Senators, and President Obama. If you also feel that a public option is an important part of health care, please, please, write or call President Obama and your members of Congress. Don't send them an email -- a call or an actual letter is much more effective. It shows that you care enough about the issue to take the time to sit down and write a letter, or pick up the phone and talk to someone. Feel free to borrow from my letter if it helps.

Find your member of the U.S. House of Representatives & his/her address here; your two U.S. Senators here; and President Obama's address here (go to the bottom of the page for the mailing address).

JUST DO SOMETHING. Now. Please.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Dear X,

I respectfully ask that you lobby forcefully for health care reform that includes a public option. To me, this is a moral issue. Under our present system of health care, Americans who can afford insurance have no choice but to purchase coverage through for-profit companies. These companies do not exist to provide health care; they exist solely to make a profit for the executives and shareholders. Therefore, the bureaucrats who stand between me and my doctor have a clear motivation to obstruct, ration or deny health care. It is morally wrong that Americans are forced to depend on this profit-motivated system.

Health care reform with a public option will offer Americans a health insurance choice that is not motivated by profit. To me, the fact that it will drive health care costs down by creating more competition among health insurance providers is a secondary benefit. There are, or course, other health care reforms that could and should be made:

1) Insurance companies should not be permitted to deny coverage due to pre-existing conditions.
2) Insurance companies should be prohibited from dropping coverage when a customer in good standing is diagnosed with an expensive medical condition.
3) The government should be permitted to negotiate with pharmaceutical companies for drugs provided under Medicare Part-D.
4) Medical records should be electronic, secure, easily accessible, and fully transportable.
5) Providers should be encouraged to cooperate in providing care, and to provide follow-up care.
6) Most important of all, there must be a public option for health insurance.

Don't let the Republicans stop this critical reform. Those who argue against a public option are either woefully uninformed, or are beholden in some way to the health insurance and pharmaceutical industries. If that means Congress must pass health care reform without Republican votes, so be it. That's a good long-term political strategy anyway -- when the public option is wildly popular and successful, the Republicans will look like obstructionist fools.

I have been a registered Democrat since I turned 18, and I have always voted Democratic. I must tell you, however, that this issue is so critical to me that I will not support a candidate in the 2010 or 2012 elections who failed to forcefully lobby for a public option. My votes and my dollars will go to other candidates in the primary and general elections.

Please, don't let this opportunity slip away. Pass health care reform with a public option!

Sincerely,

Mystery baby

2009-09-08T20:32:00.003-06:00

Awww, look at that cute little chubster! I'm told it's remarkable that he was wearing a diaper and not stark naked in this picture. Anyone want to guess who it is?

Beautiful people

2009-09-06T17:40:00.001-06:00

More twinny goodness

2009-08-31T09:37:00.003-06:00

My nephews are now two and a half weeks old, and seem to only get cuter with each passing day (cuteness runs in the family):

I'm not sure about their dad's side, but on our side of the family, the last identical twins were my great grandmother Josie and her sister Mary, born in 1887! Oddly enough, they had twin brothers too, although the brothers were fraternal, not identical.

Cheap date

2009-08-30T18:58:00.002-06:00

Yesterday afternoon I needed to return a couple things at the outlet mall, so all four of us went. As we were strolling from one store to the next, a childcare place caught our eye. Our kids begged and begged to be allowed to go in (they had good toys), and once we discovered their rate was $5/hour for two kids on Saturday nights, we agreed. They even fed them dinner! M and I went to a restaurant at the other end of the mall that had half-price appetizers & drink discounts for happy hour. We shared a plate of calamari & a small pizza, and each had a couple drinks. So for under $50 including childcare, we had date night. At the outlet mall! I'm not proud of that last part, but for $50, you really can't beat it.

Worried about BPA?

2009-08-26T12:23:00.001-06:00

Did you do what I did a couple years ago? Look for that #7 on the bottom of your water bottles, and discover that nearly every one had it? We ended up buying aluminum bottles from SIGG for everyone in the family. Well, now it's come to light that SIGG bottles also contain BPA. It's in the lining put in all bottles made before August 2008. You can tell when your bottle was made by looking at the lining. If it's a shiny copper, you've got a pre-August 2008 bottle. If it's a dull yellowish color, you're OK.

I'm feeling very irritated about this. Those bottles are expensive! Buying them for a family of four comes close to $100. While SIGG may not have done anything that's actually illegal, like specifically claiming that their bottles were BPA-free, they had to know that the reason their sales shot up suddenly was because people believed this. It feels dishonest to me that they are just now admitting the truth. We bought ours from a co-op with a 100% customer satisfaction guarantee, so I think we're going to try to exchange them all this weekend.

Read the letter from the CEO of SIGG for yourself.

Some pictures

2009-08-24T20:24:00.005-06:00

because I know a few people are starting to get the shakes from my lack of posting lately. (Oh yeah, you know who you are!) I'm a little overwhelmed at the moment with Z deep into potty-training resistance (that girl will sit in her own poop for an entire day rather than admit she has to go), being snack mom for 30 kindergarteners in the first full week of kindergarten, trying to figure out my schedule when I have to pick up the kids at two different schools, chronic insomnia (it's my dad's fault) and I forget what-all else. So mostly pictures today!

These are pictures from Miranda's 5th birthday party a couple weeks ago. It was a gymnastics party, and grownups were invited to play too. We did, as you can see. Actually, it looks like only M played, but that's only because I had possession of the camera most of the time. I played too, trust me! You can't keep me off a trampoline!

Both kids in the foam pit -- you ran down a long skinny trampoline then bounced into this. It was awesome, although I have to say it was a lot harder for us grownups to get out of the foam pit than it was for the little monkeys -- they sort of floated on top while we sank to the bottom.

That's the birthday girl in purple:

I busted Z getting into Miranda's makeup after the party: she looks awfully pleased with herself, doesn't she?

Universal health care: a first-hand account

2009-08-20T08:35:00.005-06:00

This is a post by a friend-of-a-friend, an American living in Germany. She describes in detail the universal health care available there, and makes some interesting comparisons between the state of health care in Germany and the U.S. It's a good read and should dispel some of the unfounded fears about universal health care that seem to be floating around.

While we're at it, this is a good place to find out whether all the rumors floating around about the proposed government option are true or not. Politifact.com is run by the St. Petersburg Times and won a Pulitzer Prize this year for its investigative reporting in the 2008 election. They do a bang-up job of ferreting out the truth, half-truth and lies in what all sorts of politicians and talking-heads say, and they are completely nonpartisan. They rip President Obama just as often as Sarah Palin!

B's first day of kindergarten

2009-08-19T13:24:00.004-06:00

I dropped B off for his first full day of kindergarten this morning, and it was awful. He was fine right up until he had to go through the door of his classroom, and then he started crying and clinging to me. He had to be literally pulled off me and taken into the room. Of course, all this made me cry too, but I think B was too miserable to notice.

Z and I went down to the parent lounge to wait a few minutes, then went back to peek in to see if he was doing better. He wasn't. All the kids were sitting in a circle, playing a name game, and B was at a table in the back of the room with his head down on his arms, with the head of school talking to him. I waited around until she came out, and she told me that she'd promised him she'd go back later in the morning, and if he was still having a hard time, she'd take him for a walk outside.

He went yesterday for just about two and a half hours, and I guess he cried a little bit then too, but he called me afterward (I was at work) to tell me he "LOVED kindergarten!" I'm hoping today goes the same way.

Poor little dude. Change is hard.

Sunflowers

2009-08-16T19:39:00.003-06:00

The kids and I spotted this from the highway on the way up to my mom & dad's last weekend. We had to drive all the way around it, keeping it in view the whole way, in order to get close enough to take a picture without trespassing.

There is nowhere in the world I'd rather be at this time of the year than Colorado.

The amazing B

2009-08-15T20:50:00.003-06:00

Three things B has done this weekend that have blown me away:

1. He figured out how to swim. All four of us went to the pool yesterday, and after years of swimming lessons and a gradually shrinking fear of the water, B is now fearless, and he can swim.

2. He gets multiplication and fractions! This morning, he asked me how long it was until Halloween. I said about two and a half months. It took him all of three seconds to say "So that's ten weeks then?" You could've knocked me over with a feather!

3. He summitted our backyard mountain. He's been taking walks and mini-hikes on it for years, but today, he went all the way to the top with me. I am thrilled that B likes to hike and is developing the stamina for some real hiking, because it's one of my favorite things to do, and of course I'd love to do it with one of my favorite people on earth!

Upcoming amazing feat by B: Kindergarten, starting Wednesday!

Friends

2009-08-14T18:46:00.002-06:00

The more time goes by, the better B & Z get along with one another. I'm not saying it's perfect -- they are still brother & sister and spats are inevitable -- but they play together much more than they did a year ago, and there are way fewer instances of sibling abuse. B is no longer looking for opportunities to get rid of her, and actually seems to like her most of the time. Z thinks B hung the moon.

I do have to disclose, however, that just about half an hour ago, Z somehow managed to bite B on the chest in the middle of what seemed like a happy game of ring-around-the-rosies. She bit him hard, so hard that it broke the skin. I hope this doesn't lead to antibiotics...Oh yeah, and see that little scab on Z's chin in the photo? That's where B scratched her.

So no, it's not perfect, but they are doing so much better than they were. Anyway, perfection would be boring, wouldn't it?

Twinnalicious

2009-08-13T09:01:00.004-06:00

Aren't they just adorable?! It's hard to believe that B was once that tiny. These little guys are almost exactly the same size he was when he was born.

Andrew Tyler was born at 9:55am this morning, and was followed a minute later by his identical twin Samuel Steuart. Both little monkeys are doing well from what I hear, as is my sister. I can't wait to get out there next month and hug them and squeeze them and smell their sweet baby smell!

STFU or GTFO

2009-08-11T17:59:00.004-06:00

UPDATE: This link was just too good to pass up. Or too bad. It's terrifying, is what it is.

This post has been brewing for awhile. This morning Hayley asked me to rein her in before she did an angry post on the teabagging anti-health care tools (from now just to be called "The Tools," because it's a lot easier to type), and I told her I was the wrong woman for that job because I was about to explode too. Fasten your seatbelts...please keep your hands inside the ride at all times...here we go...

Dissent is the highest form of patriotism.

I don't know who said it -- apparently not Thomas Jefferson, but maybe Howard Zinn? Anyway, it's been thrown around a lot lately by The Tools whenever someone objects to their highly objectionable behavior at the many townhall meetings that have been going on around the country. I happen to agree with this quote, regardless of its source. Dissent is patriotic. Democracy works best when everyone stands up for their own informed opinion [keyword: informed]. I lived by this phrase for eight looooong years as I watched W dismantle our Bill of Rights, engage in an illegal and unjust war, and cut taxes for the richest Americans in order to drive up the deficit in his attempt to kill government. And I respect any person who wants to offer a thoughtful and informed dissent to my opinions. I will listen, I will think about it, and who knows? Maybe I'll learn something or even change my mind. It's been known to happen.

But this is not dissent, it is not patriotic, and it is not democratic. It's rude and disrespectful, not only to the members of Congress who are holding these meetings, but to every person in the audience and every person who has to watch it on the news (like me). It is designed to inhibit the free exchange of ideas and honest questions by people who want thoughtful answers. The Tools are not dissenting; they are preventing dissent. I'll bet you all the money in my savings account (sorry, but it's not that much) that these are the same yahoos who were yelling "Kill him!" and the n-word at McCain-Palin rallies last fall. I know for a fact that at least some of them are the same @$$holes who held those dumb teabagger parties earlier in the spring, because I'm afraid that I'm related to a few of them and get their irrational and hate-filled emails. Or at least I did, until I marked them spam, and now gmail ever-so-kindly delivers them straight to my spam inbox and I never have to see them.

What are The Tools trying to achieve by this disruption? They want to make sure that nobody gets to hear just how sane, rational, affordable, humane and practical a government-sponsored health care option would be. Why don't they want us to hear those details? Because they know we'll like it, and we'll want it, and we'll make sure we get it. So who would be opposed to a government-sponsored health care plan? Uhhhhh, the health insurance companies? That's the obvious answer. They're the ones who stand to lose. A competitive government-run option would be appealing to a lot of people, and I imagine many of them would dump their hella-expensive private insurance that refuses to cover most of their health issues anyway and snap up the government option. I heard a tool on the radio yesterday saying, "We're just ordinary people who don't like this idea. How many health insurance executives or lobbyists do you think there are in those crowds? None." True. They wouldn't want someone to step on their Gucci loafers now, would they? And yet...I found it fascinating that a former insurance executive is organizing and funding The Tools. Read about it yourself here.

Another tidbit I found fascinating, yet perplexing: Obama's health care proposal is least popular among senior citizens. Hmmmm...don't senior citizens have Medicare? What is Medicare? Single-payer government-sponsored health care! GTFO, hypocrites. It's good enough for you, but not for the rest of us? You can have universal government health care, but the rest of us can go without? It reminds me of this. Jon Stewart is brilliant. He actually got ultra-conservative talking head Bill Kristol to admit that the government runs a "first-class health care system" for our military (gasp! a conservative admitted that government-run health works!), but that the rest of us don't deserve it. Tool.

So, you tools of the ultra-right, of the growing American corporatocracy, go home. We don't want you at any more town hall meetings. Some of us actually want to discuss the merits and flaws of universal, government-run health care. We want to hear varying opinions, criticism, praise, and analysis. We want to make up our own minds. We want to have a hand in shaping what eventually comes out of Congress. But we can't hear over all your shouting! In other words, we grownups are trying to have a conversation, and your two year-old hissy fits are preventing it. STFU, or GTFO.

My little mermaid

2009-08-10T19:54:00.002-06:00

Happiness

2009-08-09T19:12:00.003-06:00

What the....??

2009-08-06T14:14:00.002-06:00

At about 1:30 this morning, I woke up to an annoying and insistent sound. I laid there for a few minutes listening before I figured out what it was. "Oh, it's just Kenai playing with his squeaky ball." It stopped and I fell back asleep. But the instant it started again, I sat up in bed, wide awake this time. Unless Kenai had learned to open doors and let himself out (trust me, he's not that smart), something else was playing with his squeaky ball in the backyard.

I got out of bed and tiptoed downstairs. I stood in the dark and looked at the backyard until I saw it: a fox. It jumped up on our fence, walked along the top, then jumped down into the yard behind us.

Who knew a fox would play with dog toys?!

iRun

2009-08-02T10:42:00.003-06:00

Goal #1 was 50 miles in July; I ran 62.1.
Goal #2 was to shave 30 seconds off my pace; I shaved 21 seconds. Since I exceeded goal #1 by 25%, I think I'm OK not quite making it to goal #2.
Goal #3 is to be able to run 10 miles by mid-September. Since I met my secret goal #4 on the last day of July -- run a 10K -- I am feeling optimistic about reaching goal #3.

My August goals:

1. Get faster. I'm going to add one interval run per week to my routine, and hope to cut 24 seconds off my average pace by the end of the month. M swears by this four-minute program he read about: run at your maximum for 20 seconds, then rest 10 seconds; repeat eight times. He says everyone he's read about who tried it got faster. I'll give it a try, but I may die. At least I'll try it on a track, instead of on single-track up the mountain like he did. Nutcase.

2. Continue to keep my miles up. Since I'm really working on speed this month, I'm going to keep the goal for my monthly total at 50 miles.

3. Run another 10K at the end of the month, and run it faster than I did in July. How much faster? I don't care. Just faster.

4. And still aiming to be able to run 10 miles by mid-September.

B & J's excellent adventure, part two

2009-07-31T19:43:00.012-06:00

Picking up where we left off...B and I took the train from Philadelphia to just outside Annapolis, MD, to spend the next six days with my sister and her husband. They live on a beautiful horse farm with tons of fun stuff for kids to do.

This is my sister, 34ish weeks pregnant with twins. You can't even tell she's pregnant from behind (that was definitely NOT the case with me -- I had a full-body pregnancy). They're due to be born by scheduled c-section on August 13.

B rode a (very large) horse the first day we were there:

I don't know why he looks so bored in this picture. Honestly, he looked so happy and proud of himself the whole time I saw him up there.

Other critters on the farm:

My sister hates the peacocks. Apparently they've gone rather wild and started breeding out of control, and have a habit of pooping on her roof. I wouldn't like that either, but they are pretty to look at, aren't they?

Sylvie, my sister's elderly (and slightly neurotic) dog

Moo, my BIL's dog. B fell in love with her because she followed him all over the farm, everywhere he went.

A sweet kitty that lived at the neighbor's

One of Bizzy's goats

More horses

Georgia, my sister's first horse, and still her favorite I think

And there were other things to ride besides horses too:

And kids to play with:

B & Bizzy, who must be some sort of cousin to him by marriage, but don't ask me to name that relationship exactly

Jumping on the trampoline at the neighbor boy's house -- they hosted the weekly Tuesday cookout while we were there (wouldn't you love to live in a place where everyone on the road took turns hosting a cookout on summer Tuesday evenings?!)

The clubhouse at the neighbors' place

B and his new buddies entering the clubhouse (I have no idea what was in there; it could've been a chicken coop for all I know)

B & his buddies from the cookout

My brother-in-law's sister (is she my sister-in-law? my sister-in-law-in-law?) is building a straw bale house on the farm, and they've been having mudding parties every Saturday. About 50 people show up every week to help them mud the straw. We dropped by to check it out, but didn't stay to help:

We had a very special visit one day while we were there. Rony from Insane Mommy brought her lovely Abby & Katie over to spend an afternoon with us. Rony and I met online in the run-up to the presidential election last year. We are both part of a very small minority in the adoption community: liberals. As you may remember, I got rather vocal here on the blog last fall when election time rolled around, and Rony and I bonded over that. As it turns out, we had plenty of things besides politics to talk about. She was loads of fun, and I will definitely be looking her up whenever I'm in the DC area.

Rony, her girls, and me. That's B's rear end you can see up at the top of the picture. I don't know why, but he freaked out when we tried to take a picture, and ran away crying. Strange child.

The crazy kids jumping on Bizzy's trampoline; Bizzy had left for the beach the day before, which is too bad, because I think she would've had a blast with these three monkeys.

Sadly, all vacations must come to an end. Here's B on the bus from the airport terminal to our car:

It's good to be home though. I missed M & Z a ton. Z's speech improved tremendously in the 11 days we were gone. Really, it's astonishing. And the gardens are on the verge of taking over the yard, especially the vegetable garden.

It really was an excellent adventure though...

B & J's excellent adventure, part one

2009-07-30T09:14:00.005-06:00

B and I are finally home, after 11 days on the road. Our first stop was in Philadelphia. It was all work for me, and all play for B. OK, not exactly all work for me--there were a few parties...

On Monday, the youth program wasn't open yet, so poor B had to trail me around the convention center and try to stay quiet during meetings. That night, we went to a big party on the top floor of the Comcast Center, the big glass building in this picture:

B made friends with a kid named Sam at that party. Sam is also five, and just as silly as B. It was a match made in heaven. Luckily for all of us, they continued to run into each other throughout the trip.

On Tuesday, B got to play in the youth program all day while I worked. He played mini-golf and rode a carousel, or so I hear. That night, we went to a big party at Independence Park. This included a visit to the Liberty Bell:

B was totally unimpressed by the big cracked bell, preferring to climb on the windowsill next to it while the park ranger lectured:

Until she told him to get his naughty self down, that is:

As luck would have it, we ran into Sam and his grandparents as we were leaving the party. Seeing how B and Sam had hit it off, they'd decided to put Sam in the youth program the next day so he could spend more time with B. Let the silliness begin.

So on Wednesday, lucky B and his buddy Sam got to go to the Please Touch Museum and Ride the Ducks, while I (you guessed it) worked all day. That night, there was of course another party, after which B and I took a little walk around Philadelphia on our way back to the hotel. The ever observant B had noticed lots of eyes following him all over the city:

They were stuck on pipes all over the place. We saw at least half a dozen sets. Actually, we'd hoped to photograph them all, but the morning we took the camera with us, there were people perched on every single pipe while they ate their breakfast, except for the one above. That one stuck out of the wall at a height of about six feet, so it wouldn't have made a very good seat.

We took a break during our walk to sit by a big fountain. Well, I sat by the big fountain while B splashed around in it. He managed to get himself completely soaked from head to toe before I noticed the "no swimming" signs. We walked back to the hotel to put him in dry pajamas while I packed.

Thursday morning, we made a brief visit to the convention center so B could load up on junk from the exhibit hall, then headed for the train station. And guess who we ran into at the train station? Silly Sam, headed home with his grandparents. Here are B and Sam goofing off while we waited for our trains:

B amused himself on the train with this "mess-free" paint set we picked up at the toy industry booth in the exhibit hall:

Tomorrow, part two: Maryland--more new friends, horses, tractors, trampolines and more.

Check

2009-07-26T08:16:00.002-06:00

One goal down. These were the goals I set back in the beginning of July:

1. run 50 miles in the month of July
2. shave another 30 seconds off my average pace by the end of July
3. be able to run 10 miles by mid-September (without dying)

So far, as of July 26, I've run 53.4 miles. Woohoo!!! And I still have four days left to run (I'm not counting July 29 because B & I will be flying back home that day). I'm going to pass 60 miles.

I'm not so sure I'm going to make goal #2. My average pace for the month of July is about 19 seconds faster than the previous month, and I doubt I'm going to be able to shave off another 11 seconds in four more runs. Although running is definitely easier here at sea level. I feel faster. I also feel like I'm running in a big vat of hot soup. Anyway, maybe I'll consider upping my distance a good enough accomplishment for the month of July and work on my speed in August.

Buh-bye for now

2009-07-18T21:27:00.002-06:00

B and I are leaving on a jet plane tomorrow morning. We're headed to Philadelphia for five days first. This part of the trip is business for me, but will be all fun for B. From there, we're taking the train to Maryland to stay with my sister for almost a week. She's very very pregnant, so again, that part of the trip will be all fun for B (pool, trampoline, six year-old cousin to play with, horses to ride, tractors to drive), but I plan to spend a lot of time helping my sister finish getting ready for the twins. Not that that won't be fun, but holding the actual babies would be more fun than painting their nursery or putting together their cribs.

Speaking of the twins, they will likely be born by scheduled c-section within a few days after B and I leave for home. Why couldn't they have scheduled it for while we were there? How inconsiderate of her obstetrician. Doesn't she realize it's all about me me ME??? (Just kidding, of course.)

I am taking the camera with me and will take plenty of pictures, but I don't know if I'll be able to download them before I get home. If I can, I'll post some; if not, see you at the end of the month!

Coming out of the fog

2009-07-15T11:34:00.006-06:00

I think. I've been living in crisis-management mode for five and a half years now, since B was born. Although I didn't really like being pregnant, when I look back at those days now, they seem almost idyllic. Life got incredibly busy and stressful starting the moment we walked in the front door with him in our arms. He was a fussy baby who wanted to be held 24/7. He refused to sleep for more than 20 minutes at a time for months on end. When he was about six months old, we discovered he had a pretty serious case of GERD, and by coincidence, a number of other health issues cropped up at the same time. It was a terrifying month filled spent in doctors' offices and hospital waiting rooms. In the end, it turned out he was fine, except for the GERD, which we managed to successfully control with medication until he turned one, at which point he outgrew it.

But even after we got past all that, B was not an easy toddler. His demand for constant parental attention continued. I saw friends' kids who could play for a few minutes on their own, or maybe watch a video or something, but B never could. He was prone to yelling/crying fits, or worse, hitting, biting or scratching, when he didn't get his way. [B was later diagnosed with birth trauma and spent a few months earlier this year in play therapy to deal with it, but the details of that are another post for another day. Maybe.]

Enter Z, when B was four years old. If we thought it was hard before, boy, were we in for a shock. There was a honeymoon period when B thought having a baby sister was the coolest thing ever, but it lasted less then a month. Then he decided two things: (1) he was going to get rid of that little girl by whatever means necessary, and (2) he hated M & me and didn't want to be in our family anymore. This made life very unpleasant for M and me for about a year, and I don't even want to imagine how unpleasant it was for poor Z at times. The chaos in our house was constant, and M & I felt like we spent more time yelling at B than playing with him some days.

The effect of these past five and a half years on me (afterall, isn't this blog all about me? not really, but it is MINE) was stress. All day, every day. For five and a half years, I have felt incompetent at almost everything I do -- my kids didn't get along and behaved badly in public, my house was a wreck, long-term projects like organizing photos or painting rooms got put off indefinitely, I rarely found time to exercise, I fed my kids not exactly junk food, but certainly not the kind of whole, healthy foods I'd always imagined I'd feed my kids, and M and I didn't have even a fraction of the time we needed together. The time I spent with friends slid down to virtually nil, I did pretty much no reading for pleasure (only parenting books, which I devoured in search of a solution), and all of my hobbies disappeared. I have felt out of control of my own life for a long time now.

But I sense a change taking place. Slowly but surely, I'm beginning to feel like I'm getting my groove back. I've been running consistently for almost three months now, and it feels great. Things have been surprisingly mellow around our house for the last couple of weeks, with the kids getting along beautifully with each other without our constant participation. B has been fun to be around (most of the time -- hey, we don't expect perfection!), and has been wonderfully helpful around the house and is trying hard to be a good big brother to Z. M & I actually sat in the living room and talked for a whole hour the other night after the kids went to bed. We didn't even talk about the kids or money! It was freaky. But so nice. In the midst of all of this, I have gradually tapered off the happy pill I've taken for the past six years, and I feel fine. F.I.N.E. The house is still a wreck and we're still about neck-deep in debt (better than the eyeball-deep it was a few months ago), but really, how much change can a woman expect at once?

Is it possible? Am I getting my life back? I sure hope so. It feels good.

Cupcakes go swimming

2009-07-14T20:51:00.004-06:00

B & Z's preschool has pulled all the kindergarten-bound kids out of the regular class and put them in their own group for the summer. After much debate and several votes, the group of 12 kids settled on "Cupcakes" as the class name. B and several of the other boys were sorely disappointed, having lobbied hard for "Stormtroopers." These kids have their own classroom in the college that their teacher has fitted out with toys kept hidden all year long & brought out only for this last summer of preschool, plus a bunch of the college's laptops. I hear there have been several happy mornings spent playing supposedly "educational" computer games. They also get special activities, like a once-a-week trip to a neighborhood pool nearby, a couple of visits from the fire department, and several visits from a local city's outreach program. B has been having loads of fun, and M & I think it's good that he's been interacting with kids his own age all summer. All year he's gravitated toward younger kids in his class that he can boss around; hanging out with his peers and getting a taste of his own medicine is probably good for him!

Last week, I chaperoned the Cupcakes on their first trip to the neighborhood pool. It was about a half-hour walk to get there, with a trip down a path through a big field that was just swarming with ladybugs, a quick pass by a classmate's house, and arrival at the pool just as all the five year-olds were running out of steam. I wish I could go with them every week, but sadly, my work schedule demands I sit in front of a computer all day in an office with windows that don't even open, rather than hanging out at the pool.

Cupcakes: class picture

B at the pool

Sharks!